I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
