You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
what day is it and did you see me today?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize