I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
