All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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