No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
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