I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Randomize
