You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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