According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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