I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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