Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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