Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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