Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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