I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
