NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
