She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
