Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
