Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
