um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
