i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
