he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
