this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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