I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
