FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
