i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
