please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize