She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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