its not stalking. its research.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
