Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize