I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
