I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
