Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize