There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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