Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize