How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Randomize
