he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
