dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He has the fingertips of a God
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