I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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