The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
