He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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