Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
