I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My penis needs a shock collar
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
