Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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