Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
