I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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