I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
