Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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