im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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