One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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