that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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