he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
