she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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