The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
