I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
