It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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