Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
