U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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