just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
