is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
