Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
