Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
