My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
